Starting afresh

After eight long years, when you are left holding an empty shell of a relationship, things look pretty bleak.

Moving to one's own place, doing the singles scene again.... All of it pretty daunting. Not having stayed on my own ever except the two years in MICA. Staying in a hostel hardly counts since you don't have to think about paying utility bills....

Worse to handle is the dating scenario. Having been out of circulation for almost a decade, you are totally clueless on the rules of this game. In the secure cocoon of old friends, very difficult to meet anyone new.

But more than anything the biggest fear is of being alone. The fear of spending the rest of your life staring at the same walls on every friday night... All because you have had enuf of the party scene and all you want to do is relax at home. Added to this is the fact that all your really good friends have their own lives to lead especially if they are married....

Obviously when u reach this age most of your friends are married or in a serious commited relationship so you really can't be the odd one out at all times. The rest you end up hanging out with are the really young "lets party till 4" bunch. And there is only so much partying till 4 that your body can take

Some how some where during this whole process you learn to balance the slow easy evenings with friends with the mindnumbing alcoholic dancing parties which keep you on yopur toes till the wee hours. You learn that life has a lot to offer even if it means getting obsessive about keeping your house clean.

Renewing relationships that you had let fall on the waysidew for so many years... discovering the exhilaration of solitude after 17 hr workdays... Watching your balcony turn into a mini forest... Enjoying the rain while sitting in that mini forest... Cooking up a storm on sundays and feeding the team chocolate mousse on monday...

Well staring afresh can be exciting and it really shakes you out of the sameness of life which comforted you for years....